The transition from in-school structure to autonomy outside of school often brings a sudden shift in responsibility and self-regulation, a phenomenon known as “post-school restraint collapse”. In the structured environment of school, children often have to follow a regimented schedule, frequent deadlines, and continuous supervision. Once they leave this structured setting, they may struggle to maintain the same degree of self-control and organization. Has your child ever walked through the door after school, and you’ve given a simple command like, “Put your shoes away” and they explode? Going from school to home is a big transition! Executive function skills are like gas. If your child starts the day with a full tank (e.g., had a good rest, ate a good breakfast), they will be burning executive functioning fuel all day long. By the time they come home, they may be running on fumes! This is one of the reasons many parents report that their children are well behaved at school, but then come home dysregulated. It is important to allow your child to decompress after school. They are likely overstimulated and will need time to regulate their nervous systems again.
To manage this transition, try the following techniques:
Drastically reduce immediate after school plans/demands
Make your child a large snack/small meal to eat after school
Create a quiet place (like a fort/cocoon/cozy cove) for them to go
Allow screen time/TV for up to an hour
Let them take the snack and have electronics uninterrupted
Separate your children
They should each have their own snack/space to go, even if your other children don’t have executive functioning challenges
Keep high energy pets away (put the dog in the yard)
Set a timer for one hour. Be firm that when the timer goes off, it is time to move on to what is next
Avoid:
Excessive talking
Giving commands/making requests
Doing homework
Asking about the school day
Making plans
Scheduling sports/activities immediately after school
Though these steps may seem simple, it makes a world of a difference in how our children are better able to regulate themselves and transition from school to home more effectively. Have any more questions in regard to parenting strategies? Feel free to reach out to our office and ask us about our Parent Management Training services!
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